Thursday, June 6, 2013


        Seriously, what the hell is going on here? Why do artists (meaning visual artists - not rappers or musicians) and "art world" people talk like a bunch of cool kids huddled in the corner during a pool party, pointing and laughing at the rest of the party-goers while they share an inside joke? I quickly tired of the art babble during my graduate studies. Dense articles that talked in circles, conversations that lasted for months with no resolution, words and terms thrown around pointlessly, references to obscure books and poems, and people talking like they were trying to jack each other off with their immense understanding of bulls#*t art terms - this was my introduction to the "art world."

        Call me crazy, but I think art should be accessible. I don't think that sh*%ty paintings should be elevated to lofty realms of beauty and contemplation based on indecipherable babble written in an exhibition catalog. Lame-ass attempts at conceptual art should be set on fire and extinguished with urine. And if your artist statement does nothing more than confuse the reader due to your use of ridiculous art terms, maybe you should stick to making art and not bother with writing about it? If you've been to an art show recently, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. You walk into a gallery, check out some paintings, enjoy them, pick up the artist statement about the work, and then ask yourself, "WTF is this person talking about? Where is my pocket dictionary? I'm no scholar, but I'm pretty sure that's not even a real word." Then you look at the paintings again on your way out and notice the bitter taste in your mouth. Thanks for nothing, artist statement.

        The artist statement is known for being pretentious and full of s#*t, and people are starting to realize this. The artybollocksgenerator will generate a confusing, elitist artist statement for you instantly! You don't even have to make up any art terms, the generator does it all for you! Here is a fantastic video of Charlotte Young giving her artist statement with subtitles that break through the "art talk" nonsense.

        Fine art has no practical use, so it has to be hyped up. Why in the world would someone spend millions of dollars for a painting of a rectangle? Just ask the critics, they'll let you know why you don't "get it." They'll spew off words and phrases that do nothing but obscure the art's meaning and confuse you, and then you'll nod up and down and realize that you are an idiot who should stick to watching television and leave the art appreciation to those who "get it."

        Thank God for the internetz. There are many resources online that break down these artistic barriers for the common folk. The best resource I've found is Art Thoughtz by Hennesy Youngman. Mr. Youngman breaks down these bullshit art appreciation barriers with the force of a wrecking ball. Click HERE for his channel. This article/interview from Art in America is mind-blowing as well.
 -- Hennesy Youngman

        The Sheila Variations made a challenge of mocking the pretentiousness of the "art world" language and, with help from fans, created a most amazing review of "The Gates" by Christo. It's funny because it's true.

        It seems that no one wants to be real when talking about or appreciating art. The whole thing is just elitist. I have heard, with my own ears, artists making words up as they speak about their art. Confused? Well no shit you're confused, this scammer is creating their vocabulary as they go. Serving shit on a platter and calling it filet mignon does not make it filet mignon. Here's an example, giclee (zhee-clee). I'm sure you've heard this term before and asked yourself what exactly it was or is. It's fancy isn't it? It's French, ooh-la-la, it must be something wonderful. It's probably some new trend in the world of bohemian artists, who scrape by on leftovers and survive on artistic passion. Well here's the truth, it's a digital ink-jet print. Yeah that's it. A high resolution digital print of a work of art. I know, I know, it was mysterious before, it had value, it was unique and special, and now you see that the emperor is naked.

        Appreciating art comes down to a matter of taste. It's based on opinions. I think it's important to understand how or why you form your opinions on art, but I don't think people should be intimidated by art. Art should be accessible. There is no objective right or wrong in art. It is impossible for everyone to agree on any one thing, especially when it comes to things that are subjective like art, food, movies, and music. Go ahead and disagree, don't be afraid to stand your ground. Don't buy into the hype, you are just as qualified as anyone to go to an art museum, hit up a gallery opening, and make your own decisions about what you experience. You don't need a degree to look at art.

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